I Didn't Understand

There are so many things I never understood and probably never could before I became a mom.

I didn't understand how women would want to go through labor so many times. The thought of birthing this child scared the heck out of me. I didn't know if I could do it and thought maybe just this one time would be enough. Now I understand the incredible experience it is and would do it a million times over. I understand that it brings this amazing baby into my arms and a closeness to my husband (and with drugs you hardly feel anything).

I didn't understand all the women who were jealous I was going to have this new baby to hold and take care of. A new baby was going to be great, but all I could think of was of the no sleep, crying, and diapers, diapers and more diapers. It is true, new babies are all consuming, but that is what I love, I want to be needed in every way. I love getting up in the middle of the night to hold and calm my sweet boy. In fact the other night I set him in his crib just for a moment to get something and when I came back to rock him to sleep he was already asleep and it made me a little sad... it felt like he didn't need me and I am not ready for that. To spend that tender time with him is a blessing.

I didn't understand when people would say time flies and they grow so fast. HOLY COW is this true. My little baby is 2 months old today. How did that happen? I already had to put away all his new born clothes because he has grown out of them. Where did my newborn go? I have loved seeing Dallas grow and develop, but I also wouldn't mind him staying 1 week old forever.

I didn't understand parents (my mom) when they are sad when their kids moved out of the house or got married. I always thought parenting would be great, but I looked forward to the time it would just be Dan and me again. Now that Dallas is here I tell him almost daily not to ever leave me :)

I didn't understand the immediate love that comes with a child. Even though I still don't think Dallas looks like us or that he is really mine forever, my heart was filled with an unconditional love I didn't know I could posses for my child. I know understand the love my parents have for me and the love God has for each of us. We are all lucky to be loved like this!