Trials

Life is crazy. You would think it is because there is a baby on the way but that isn’t it at all. My sweet, amazing husband has been going through the trial of his life, with me by his side helping were possible.

Everything started Easter weekend, it was going to be jammed pack with family, fun, and lots of yummy food. My parents drove in Wednesday afternoon and RJ and Danielle arrived Thursday afternoon. Since Dan and I had work, the plan was that I was going to meet my family at my sister’s after work and we would all have dinner together and finish planning out weekend. Dan would head home and try and get some homework done in peace and quiet so he could try and participate in the rest of the weekend.

Well things seemed to be going as planned. I was at Mandy’s eating dinner and talking with everyone when I got, what I hope to be the worst call I will ever get. It was Dan and with all his might he said… Annie I need to go to the ER. At first I thought he was joking (a sick joke, but it isn’t uncommon) and just wanted me to come home and spend time with him. I asked if he was serious and in the same strained voice he repeated… I have to go to the ER. I grabbed my purse, handed Presley (Mandy’s youngest who I was holding) off to Mandy, and ran out saying I needed to take Dan to the ER.

I sped home as fast as I could, praying that Dan would be ok. We have been to the ER a couple of times before, but this time just seemed different. I ran in the house, up the stairs to our bedroom where I found Dan laying in our bed, curled up in pain. I quickly grabbed a trash can for him to hold while I told him we needed to go now. I helped Dan up, but once on his feet he started throwing up from the pain. Then the act of throwing up caused him to be in more pain. He laid back down and said to call an ambulance. I was hesitant for just a second thinking, are things really this serious? It only took a second to realize, yes! Calling 911 isn’t something I have ever wanted to do in my life, but I dialed quickly and tried to speak as clearly and calmly as I possibly could.

I explained to the lady that Dan has Crohn’s disease and that we think he had perforated (It is like your appendix bursting, just it is a portion of your intestines). She said an ambulance was on its way. Over the years I have seen Dan in intense pain from his disease, but this was like nothing I have ever seen and according to him nothing he had ever experienced either. It is heart breaking to just sit there and wait, and wait for what seems like an eternity for the ambulance to come. Dan seemed to be getting worse so I called 911 again to see how close the ambulance was, as I was talking to the 911 lady they arrived. I ran out the front door to greet the firefighters and EMT workers. I still don’t understand why they send a fire truck. I think they just want every single neighbor to know that you are having a crisis. Also, if a person calls 911 it is because there is an emergency, meaning HURRY. They pulled up I am waiting there and they slowly get out of their vehicles. I personally would have appreciated then jumping out and running up to the house, but that didn’t happen.

We went up to Dan. I was answering questions with one while the others aided Dan. Dan is asking/yelling for pain killers. I was afraid they would think he was a drug addict. I watched as the most incompetent EMT shook while trying to put in the IV. He missed, wiggled it around then tried again. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! Let this guy learn on someone other than my husband who is in excruciating pain. Finally they think they have it in, but it doesn’t seem to help much. They are only allowed to give a small dose of morphine. It was enough for Dan to be able stand up and walk down the stairs. I think it took every bit of energy for him to do this and the knowledge that he had to in order to get the ambulance and then a hospital. Due to the layout of our house they couldn’t put him on a stretcher. Once down the stairs they put him on a stretcher and into the ambulance.

At this point I really was holding it together pretty well at this point. When I saw a neighbor or family member I would cry for a minute, but then would suck it up and be ok. I followed the ambulance the hospital. You would think they would have the siren and lights on so they could get there faster, but no, they stopped at all the lights and took their sweet time. COME ON PEOPLE!! Dan finally arrived around 8pm (April 21^st 2011)

I hurried in as fast as I could just to find my sweet husband still writhing in pain. Both Dan and I begged the nurse to give him more pain meds. She did. No Change. I asked again and she said he needed to be awake enough to stand for x-rays. Dan promised he would be and she gave him more. Dan had the x-rays taken and by then my family had arrived along with our Bishop. My Dad and Bishop gave him a blessing and went back to the waiting room. He and I continued to beg for more pain meds… NOTHING was working. I finally tracked down the ER doctor that had seen him (who I wasn’t impressed with either) and asked what was going on. He said Dan had in deed perforated. OBVIOUSLY!! So they called the surgical team to come in. This was around 9:30pm

The x-rays weren’t clear enough to see exactly were the perforation was so they needed to do a CAT scan so the surgeon could operate with a better idea of where the problem was. Still Dan was in intense pain. It was killing me, why couldn’t they provide some relief? I felt so helpless. After the CAT scan the nurse came in with a new drug, she said she had given Dan enough of the other stuff to put down an elephant and it hadn’t touched him so it was time for something else. Whatever it was it was a miracle!! This finally relaxed him. It was the first time in HOURS that Dan wasn’t moaning in pain, his body finally drifted off to sleep. He would wake up in pain about every 10 mins or so and I would get the nurse to give him more drugs.

Around 10:30 the surgeon came in to talk to us. I tried to keep Dan awake to hear what was going on. Dan’s main comment was… please no colostomy bag, do your best, I really don’t want one. The surgeon replied, I am first going to do whatever I need to save your life. WHAT? Save his life? That is when it really hit me what was happening. Dan has had this surgery twice prior to me knowing him. So in my mind, the situation was: Dan perforates, has surgery, a short hospital stay, and then life is good again. As much as it scared me, deep down I had a comforting feeling that everything would be ok. I know that was an answer to so many of the prayers that were being said.

The surgery was estimated to last about 3 hours and started around midnight. I was with Dan until the anesthesiologist took him away. It was midnight now and I walked out to tell everyone he was going into surgery and that they could go home. Our bishop, RJ, and Danielle, headed home. I insisted my parents go too, but they said no way and stayed by my side until Dan was out of surgery. The surgeon came in about 1:30am. Much earlier than expected. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, but after talking to him I decided it was a good thing.

25 inches of Dan’s small intestine were removed. They removed the perforated portion and then the portion above the perforation because it was so swollen and inflamed with Crohns that they couldn’t even get liquids to go through it. We were settled in his room about 3am and finally tried sleeping around 4am. Neither of us got much sleep and the surgeon was back around 7am to check on Dan.

We thought Dan would be out of the hospital by the following Tuesday. Unfortunately that isn’t at all how things played out. On Tuesday when the surgeon checked the wound he could see a portion was getting infected. He needed to open up that portion to clean it out. This meant removing 5 of the 18 staples, pulling his skin apart, and cleaning out the area. For me it was interesting. All of the inner incisions were sealed and healing so this was just the top skin, but it obviously very deep. The surgeon filled the wound with this shoe lace like gauze and put a bandage over the whole incision. Dan and I both were in shock that he was leaving it open!! The surgeon said it will slowly heal together and would not be stapled again. Also, that the other staples would not be removed for at least a week or more, meaning Dan would be going home with them. Both of these things were hard, really hard, for Dan to see and hear.

The next couple of days did not improve. Although the PT was coming working with Dan, getting him to move around, all his limbs were filling with tons of fluid from all the IVs. He also fevered often and had terrible night sweats causing him to wake up freezing. They started him on a liquid, then soft food diet, but Dan slowly started to lose his appetite. It is so hard to just be there. There is no other place I wanted to be, but watching the recovery be so slow, seeing the pain and frustration Dan was in, and not being able to do a thing, just isn’t fair.

Due to the fevers the hospital kept Dan and continued to monitor him. After 10 days Dan was finally released. Oh to be out of there!!!!!! Dan and I drove to the pharmacy to have his 8 prescriptions filled. Since it would be about an hour, we went for a drive. Dan loved being out of the hospital, and I loved being out with him by my side. It truly was a blessing it was such a beautiful day!

Liz, Dan’s sister, was flying in that night to help out the next week. I had work and couldn’t be home with Dan all day so I was thankful for the help. Once again, things didn’t quite go as hoped/planned. Dan was up all night just like our last night in the hospital. No drug, no amount of soothing, nothing was helping. Also, the constant need to urinate and night sweats didn’t help either. After a long night I was off to work and Liz was on the clock.

Monday morning did not go well. Dan was so tired and so frustrated. I hated being away. I knew he was in good care, but I felt I needed to be there. That afternoon we had a Dr. apt. scheduled with Dan’s GI specialist so I just kept telling him I would see him then. That appointment went very well. We seemed to get good direction and feedback from the Dr. He listened and answered all of our many questions regarding Dan’s health and what the next steps needed to be. That perked Dan up a lot and we had a very good night. Well until he tried to sleep again.

The next morning (Tuesday) we saw the surgeon. Dan was running a high temp of 102 and wasn’t feeling well overall. The surgeon wanted another CAT scan of Dan to make sure there wasn’t internal infection. Back to the ER we went. Dan’s fever dropped quickly which was a relief, but it was going to be another long day. Finally around 4pm we had to results and the surgeon was explaining the situation. Fluid in the belly is expected after surgery, but Dan has extra. There didn’t seem to be an abscess which was good news, but the question now is, is the fluid infected causing these fevers? They wanted to admit Dan for the night, but Dan, Liz, and I all said no. There was two of us watching Dan’s every move and would monitor him. We were given the OK and headed home.

Being able to leave was such a boost. We couldn’t have handled another night there… we had just left!! That night Dan slept a bit more and felt worlds better in the morning. The surgeon evaluated him and decided the fluid wasn’t infected, meaning, we wouldn’t have to have it drained. He then looked at Dan’s wound and we could see the open part was healing nicely. He then said he would remove the staples. YEAHH!! That was an unexpected surprise. Out they came, stir strips applied, and we were on our way home.

It is amazing the love and support we have received. So many phone calls to see how we are doing, offers to help and be of service. Our yard has been taken better care of than if Dan and I were healthy and trying to maintain it ourselves. I feel as though we are doing so well, despite what seems like challenge after challenge. I feel as though I have been strengthened mentally and physically to handle what I have.

Liz flew home on Thursday and I spent the weekend with Dan. Liz was such a huge help, I can't imagine what I would have done with out her! It was nice not to have to rush off anywhere. Sunday afternoon we went for another drive (Saturday we drove around Draper). Dan had woken up that morning with a pain on the right side of his abdomen. We figured he slept wrong and pulled a muscle. During the drive the pain worsened, but once again we figured that was due to the bumpy roads.

When we got home I had him ice the sore side. Ben came down and spent the night with us. I had work and Dan needed to be taken to the hospital the next morning, but for an iron infusion. Dan slept on the couch that night since he could be more elevated. In the morning he was still in lots of pain (Pain killers did nothing to help) I kissed him and said it would be ok… it’s just a pulled muscle.

We both called the Dr. Preciado’s office in that morning (Monday May 9^th 2011) to get an appointment just in case that pain was something more. Dan couldn’t get in until 1pm that day. At 9am when Dan and Ben were arriving at the hospital they went straight to the ER. Dan was in so much pain he couldn’t take it. His blood pressure was somewhere around 88/50 and could barely walk. I got off work ASAP and headed down there. When I got there around 1pm they had stabilized him and were prepping him for another CT scan. I asked if it could be a pulled muscle and Dr. Preciado looked at me and with a little laugh said, not likely.

Off Dan went for his fourth CT scan in a month. I really wasn’t that worried at this point, in my mind there was no way it could be anything serious. We were just in the ER a week ago and things were ok. They brought Dan back and 30 mins later Dr. Preciado came in with the bad news. He said… it is what we feared they dreaded leak. I think both Dan and I were in SHOCK. How? What do you mean? What do we do now? What broke my heart was the look on Dan’s face when they said he was going immediately back into surgery to essentially do the same thing over again.

Through tears, hugs, and kisses I said goodbye to my love once again as they wheeled him away no more than 15 minutes later into surgery. I had called the R.S. Pres. Stephanie Hansen to give her an update on what was going on. She came down to sit with me (and Ben) and shortly after the Bishop came too. They were so sweet to stay with me until surgery was over and Dan was in his room in the ICU. It really was a blessing to have them there and help me keep my mind off things.

After surgery Dr. Preciado came to talk to me. Upon opening Dan up they found the fluid that was seen in the CT scan a week before was indeed infected and throughout his abdomen. They also found an abscess that didn’t show up on last week’s or that day’s CT scan. Then after calling in a second surgeon for help they were finally able to find the leak. It was a pin size whole that they stitch then put biological glue over it in hopes to seal it completely. One of the hardest things to swallow was when he said that there was a high probability of this happening again and Dan needing a third surgery.

In hind sight the previous week was making so much sense. Dan was home and we were doing everything we could to help him recover, but his body was still very sick and fighting a losing battle.

Anne, Dan’s oldest sister, was on her way to help us out that week and arrived around 10:30 that night. I am grateful for the sweet Jordan Valley staff members who knew us from the week before. Normally you can't sleep over in the ICU, but they let me. I don’t know what I would have done if they wouldn’t have let me. Ben, Anne, and Laura went home that night and came back the next morning.

I was so thankful to have Anne’s help that week. Dan spent that first night and the next in ICU. They then moved him back to Telemetry where we were the first half of the last stay. It was nice to have many of the same great nurses we had the last time. Having Anne stay with Dan allowed me to work some and go home and get clothes, shower, etc when needed.

Wednesday a new scare had developed. A normal person’s resting heart rate is in the 60s. High performance athletes can get down to the mid 40s, but Dan’s started to hover around the mid 30s. Once again, can we not get a win? Why this now? After an EKG and an echocardiogram the cardiologist said everything looked physically fine, Dan’s heart was just running really slowly. As they monitored him they could see that it responded appropriately when he moved around and his blood pressure and temperature were both great so no action was taken. They did bring in an epinephrine pen just in case it started going to slowly and affecting Dan. Friday Anne flew home and once again Dan and I were set for a weekend at the hospital.

By the weekend not much had changed. His folie catheter was removed, but the following tubes remained: His NG tube that was suctioning out his stomach, the three JPs which are drains coming from his abdomen, the heart monitor, and his central line where he receives all his antibiotics, blood transfusions (he has had three), pain meds, and TPN his IV nutrition.

We survived the weekend and Ben and Laura entertained Dan on Monday while I was at work. Tuesday I stayed with Dan. Tuesday and yesterday were both GREAT days. FINALLY Dr. Preciado spoke positively about Dan’s condition. He had been so cautious and had just been saying that we need to wait and see, but on Tuesday he said that things were looking good!! Hooray!! The incision was looking good. The drains were slowing down and looking decent. During the first stay Dan’s body filled up like a balloon from all the fluids he was receiving. This time his body was functioning better and was able to filter and dispose of all the fluid he was receiving. Dan hasn’t had a single high temperature yet, unlike last time where he seemed to get one at least once a day. Life is looking up.

Sara, Dan’s younger sister flew in Tuesday night and yesterday (Wed) she, Ben, and Laura all hung out with Dan. I was thrilled, but a little jealous, each time I called to check in Dan sounded great and like they were having such a great time together. This is what I want especially when I can’t be there, but I want to make him feel that way too! Sara spent the night that night with Dan so I could get a good night’s sleep at home. I am torn when I go home in sleep. I know I desperately need an uninterrupted night of sleep where I am not worrying about Dan each time I hear a nurse walk in, but I don’t want to leave him.

I hope and pray that things continue to improve. We are on day 11 of this hospital stay and still have about a week left. They are watching Dan closely to make sure nothing goes wrong this time. He was allowed to have ice chips starting this week and we will move to liquids next. They won’t release Dan until he can eat and stomach solid foods.

Thank you to everyone for all your love and support. This has been quite a journey and I hope the end is near.